While The Batman is hitting theaters, and Batfans around the world are debating whether or not Robert Pattinson is great as the Caped Crusader, many are forgetting a shining moment in cinematic history involving the Dark Knight: Batman & Robin.
George Clooney put on the costume for this romp, which also featured Robin, Batgirl, Poison Ivy, Bane, and Mr. Freeze. And honestly, Mr. Freeze steals the show. Played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, a once brilliant scientist tries to find a way to save his wife, who has a very rare disease. He had an accident, and now, his body needs to be exposed to freezing cold temperatures at all times.
Schwarzenegger's performance is mostly remembered for all the cold-related puns--although "ice to see you" is not one of them. So we went through Batman & Robin and picked out 24 of the best Mr. Freeze lines. Some of them make no sense, some of them are hilarious, and some of them are a look deep into the cold eyes of Freeze himself. Check them all out, ranked, below.
24. "Freeze well!"
Don't bother trying to wrap your head around this one. It's a very dumb line.
23. "I shall repay them..."
"I shall repay them for sentencing me without the warmth of human comfort. I will blanket the city in endless winter."
Whoa there, Freeze. Hold your horses--preferably Clydesdales, running through the snow. First off, you're upset you didn't get a cuddle buddy in prison, and because of this, you're freezing the city. That's what you're saying.
22. "Pheromone dust designed to heat a man's blood…"
"Pheromone dust designed to heat a man's blood. It doesn't work on the cold blooded."
Puns aren't just funny. They sometimes are also expositional dumps. Poison Ivy can't hypnotize Freeze because… he's… cold blooded? It's never truly explained when this dust doesn't affect Freeze. He's not cold blooded though. You can't be a functioning animal whose cold blooded that wears a suit that's blasting cold air at you.
21. "In this universe…."
"In this universe, there's only one absolute. Everything freezes."
I mean… I guess? There's the absolute that everything alive will eventually die. That's 100%. But will everything freeze? By the time our sun's light goes out, it would have engulfed everything on the planet, so it would be toast. I guess the molecules that make up everything would then get real cold, but would it reach absolute zero? Regardless, my dead body isn't my dead body anymore if it's been lit on fire first. Ok, this is getting kind of dark for a piece picking apart poorly-written ice puns. Also it's weird they didn't go for the easy grab of "absolute zero" here.
20. "Can you feel it coming?"...
"Can you feel it coming? The ice cold of space."
What does this even mean? Boo on this line.
19. "Allow me to break the ice..."
"Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well, for it's the chilling sound of your doom."
He could have just ended the quote with his name, but no, he had to force one more ice pun in there and a threat. The first half of this quote rules, but "chilling sound of your doom?" Come on, that's weak sauce.
18. "Can you be cold, Batman?"...
"Can you be cold, Batman? You have 11 minutes to thaw the bird."
The first half of this line is a bit of a flop. Can Batman be cold--as in uncaring towards his partner? It doesn't line up with what's happening. However, the second half of this dialogue is dynamite.
17. "Cool party!"
This feels pretty lazy. The writer was scrambling for something for Freeze to say as he entered the room and just slopped this down on the paper. Yes, it's an ice pun, but it's not a big hit here.
16. "If revenge is a dish best served cold…"
"If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday finest. It's time to feast!"
Wait, what? Freeze would have been fine just saying, "Revenge is a dish best served cold," and it would have been a top five line for this piece. However, he tacks on a bit about dressing up and then eating a lot. He's getting revenge on Gotham--mostly just the GCPD and judicial system. So I guess the feast line works here? It's a clunky line overall.
15. "I'm afraid my condition has left me cold…"
"I'm afraid my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy!"
This line works fine. It's not a home run by any means, and it certainly makes more sense than most of the other lines on this list. However, it doesn't have that same repeatability as others on the list.
14. "You are not sending me to the cooler!"
Freeze is so sure of himself. He's not going back to prison! This is probably the least-forced pun in the movie, which in turn doesn't make it as fun as it should be.
13. "Tonight's forecast: a freeze is coming!"
If you live in a place that contains farmland and gets cold during the winter, you have probably heard something like this from the weather person on the news. Freeze and frost kills your crops, so this is actually very threatening. The people of Gotham really need to protect their tomato plants.
12. "Freeze in Hell, Batman!"
This line is working hard. Instead of saying, "Burn in Hell," Freeze pops in one more ice pun--which also goes along with the phrase "When Hell freezes over." It's not that funny or interesting, but what really works about this scene is that Schwarzenegger is recreating the ending of Total Recall here, and I'm very much about that.
11. "Tonight, Hell freezes over!"
That's better, Mr. Freeze. This one isn't as reaching.
10. "Stay cool, bird boy!"
It's funny because Robin is encased in ice and somehow not dead.
9. "The iceman cometh!"
Just look at his face. He's so excited to shout this one out, and he should be. This is a great line.
8. "Always winterize your pipes!"
This is just very good advice. Freeze says this as he freezes some pipes to help him escape prison. The line is read like it's a really clever pun, but it's not a pun at all. He's literally freezing pipes. Regardless, I laughed exceptionally hard at this one.
7. "Alright, everyone. Chill!"
As far as ice puns go, this is one of the best in the movie. It's straight-to-the-point, and doesn't feel as forced as others. And look at that smile on Freeze's face. He knows he just hit a home run.
6. "It's a cold town."
This is one of the few times Freeze isn't exclaiming something involving temperature. It's actually a pretty depressing time when you think about everything Freeze is going through. Maybe he's using all these ice puns as a way of deflecting his own emotions. He's a brilliant scientist whose love had a horrible disease that he's been trying to save--also, he's trapped in an ice suit that needs diamonds to run. While this is happening, the world around him doesn't understand his pain nor do they want to help him. There's a lot going on in his head. You know what? After over explaining that line, it comes off as brilliant to me.
5. "Hahahahaha! REVENGE!"
This isn't an ice pun. It isn't a catchy, well-crafted line. It's Freeze walking around and yelling, "Revenge!" For some reason, I could not stop laughing at this, and I kept watching it over and over again. He's by himself. Why is he yelling this? I love it.
4. "My passion thaws for my bride alone."
Look at Freeze, holding strong as a beautiful woman hangs all over him, dropping ice pun after ice pun. Seriously, most of her lines are puns. And yes, Freeze is also dropping ice puns here as well, but it speaks towards his character. Look at that, a pun that helps with character development. Who would have thought?
3. "Chilled to perfection!"
This line is chilled to perfection as well. Give the person who wrote this an award.
2. "What killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!"
Ok, the ice age didn't kill the dinosaurs, a comet hitting the coast of Mexico did, according to most scientific theories. So why is this ranked so high? Well, Freeze is a brilliant scientist, and he should know this--even if he isn't a paleontologist. He's really trying to force in that ice pun. Secondly, as he says this, he shoots his freeze gun at a dinosaur statue. It's so ridiculous and perfect.
1. "Let's kick some ice."
If you didn't think this would be the best line on this list, you aren't as familiar with Batman & Robin as you should be. This is the best line of the movie.
Who is the best Batman?
A GameSpot viewer poll has revealed results a bit different. When asked who is the best Batman of all time--out of Adam West, Michael Keaton, Ben Affleck, and Christian Bale--readers overwhelmingly selected Bale with 66% of the votes. Over 290,000 people took part in the pole. Make sure to head over to GameSpot's Twitter and Facebook for more polls, memes, videos, and links to rad content.
Who is the best Batman villain?
We also asked readers who the best Batman villain is--out of Penguin, Mr. Freeze, Riddler, and The Joker. An overwhelming 73% picked Joker.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.