Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl was officially announced this week, as the game takes popular Nickelodeon cartoon characters and throws them into a Smash Bros.-style melee. The expected characters like SpongeBob and Helga are in there, as well as Korra from the Avatar universe, but it got us thinking about the other fighters we want in the game. What if Nintendo dug far too deep into its own history for the fighters, choosing ones that no one has thought about in decades--including real people?
With that in mind, these are the fighters we definitely actually want to see in Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl.
Linda Elerbee | Nick News with Linda Elerbee
Image: MN2S
When I was fielding people's dream roster on Twitter, all-star GameSpot fan ErrollM nailed it with the perfect fighter that I knew needed to be on this list. The Walter Cronkite for '90s kids around the world: Linda Ellerbee. Her show, Nick News with Linda Ellerbee, kept kids up to date on current events and promoted positive change. But in today's current political climate, talking no longer cuts it and it's time for Linda to lay the smack down. Get ready Nigel Thornberry, your disruption of wild animals' natural habitats will no longer go unpunished. -- Jean-Luc Seipke, Video Producer
Mr. Wizard | Mr. Wizard's World
Despite the fantasy-inspired name, Mr. Wizard is actually a real person named Don Herbert who served as a science educator dating back to the early '50s. He eventually found his way to Nickelodeon in 1983, where his roasting and pranking skills were on full display as he dealt with his much younger assistants. Mr. Wizard would not need to engage in any physical violence in Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl, and would instead rely solely on psychological manipulation and deceit in order to win. Sure, the real Mr. Wizard has been dead for well over a decade, but Nickelodeon icons are timeless. -- Gabe Gurwin, Associate SEO Editor
Pete and Pete | The Adventures of Pete and Pete
Yes, both of them as one character--just like the Ice Climbers. Nickelodeon's live-action comedy shows in the '90s were weird, and perhaps none was weirder than The Adventures of Pete and Pete, starring two brothers who were both named Pete. The younger Pete's actor, Danny Tamberelli, is no stranger to video games, having played a big role in Grand Theft Auto 5, and though we aren't entirely sure how the two would fight their enemies, their super-powered special ability would be an assist from Artie, the Strongest Man in the World. Given Big Pete actor Michael Maronna's later career as a film set electrician, perhaps a lightning attack could play a role? -- Gabe Gurwin, Associate SEO Editor
Green Slime | You Can't Do That On Television
Throughout its history, green slime has been associated with Nickelodeon, primarily with it getting dropped on people's heads. What better way to honor the oozy liquid than adding the version of it from where it originated from: You Can't Do That On Television. Originally appearing on CTV, the sketch comedy show became a staple of early Nickelodeon programming, and any time someone said, "I don't know," chunky, puke-like green slime would rain down upon them. If you're making a Smash Bros.-esque fighting game with only Nickelodeon characters, you can't forget about the slime. -- Mat Elfring, Entertainment News Editor
The Shrine of the Silver Monkey | Legends of the Hidden Temple
Image: Reddit
Oh, you want Olmec to be in the game? Is Olmec tough? Can it even move? Why not pivot and choose the Sephiroth of the Nickelodeon universe, the Shrine of the Silver Monkey? Seriously, how many kids failed at putting this together in the final temple challenge on the Nick game show? It was a time-suck for many contestants who had the most difficulty completing this basic, three-piece puzzle. Beating it in a fist fight would surely be a great challenge as well, right? If you're worried that it can't move--much like Olmec--just have some Temple Guards carry it around. Stop trying to ruin my dreams and put this in the game already. -- Mat Elfring, Entertainment News Editor
Mike O'Malley | Get the Picture and Guts
In the realm of Nickelodeon game shows, is there anyone more recognizable than Mike O'Malley? Summer Sanders fans, back off. O'Malley is best known for hosting Guts, the kids competition series that ends with someone getting a glowing piece of that radical rock--the Aggro Crag (what a dumb name for a mountain). However, O'Malley also hosted the game show Get The Picture, where contestants had to decipher a scrambled image. These are two very different O'Malley's though. Get The Picture's O'Malley is defeated and there's a burning rage hiding just under the surface that will explode the next time a contestant has a dumb answer. Guts' O'Malley is enthusiastic and "just happy to be here." Maybe we can get a story mode about O'Malley explaining why they're both so different. Also, this character gets multiple costumes for Guts, Get the Picture, and his role of The Doorman in The Good Place. -- Mat Elfring, Entertainment News Editor
Nightmare Baby | Rugrats
Admittedly, I'm not sure exactly how this one could work as a balanced fighter in the game, but of all the Rugrats characters who appeared over the years, none are even half as terrifying as the Nightmare Baby. Angelica dreamt of the horrid abomination when it appeared that she was going to have a baby brother, and the ghoulish hellspawn proceeded to eat her. This giant baby would tower over most of the characters in the game, including the adults, and would most likely only be vulnerable to driving around in the car until he falls asleep or starts crying from a dirty diaper. -- Gabe Gurwin, Associate SEO Editor
Crazy Steve | Drake & Josh
Image: MTV
If you're a younger Nickelodeon fan, chances are you know actor Jerry Trainor for his starring role on iCarly--he even came back for the Paramount+ revival. But before that, he had an incredible recurring role as Crazy Steve on Drake & Josh. High-strung doesn't begin to describe Steve, who only ever appears at the movie theater where he works and manages to do so at the worst possible times. His fighting moves would presumably involve moving with blistering speed and raining down dozens of punches and kicks upon his enemies. His signature, however, would be "You ate my enchilada!," a devastating chasing maneuver that leaves everyone else powerless as he zeroes in on his target for the kill. -- Gabe Gurwin, Associate SEO Editor
Steve | Blue's Clues
Two characters named Steve on the same roster? When they're this different, absolutely. Steve Burns played a character with his own first name on Blues Clues from the show's inception to 2002, and while there were all sorts of rumors about his untimely demise or descent into hard drug use, the truth is that he just didn't really want to be on the show anymore. That sort of desire for career growth can make a man want to kick some ass, and with an army of extremely helpful cartoon animals at his side, that's exactly what he would do as a fighter in this game. And if he's allowed to charge up his power in the famous Thinking Chair, just forget about it. -- Gabe Gurwin, Associate SEO Editor
Stoop Kid | Hey Arnold!
Stoop Kid's story is tragic. Abandoned by his family shortly after birth, Stoop Kid lives a fractured, broken life, never leaving his stoop. He is ridiculed for never leaving his stoop and lashes out at others when they walk by. Well, now he's finally leaving his stoop and entering the fighting game community in Nickelodeon All-Star Battle and he's going to absolutely wreck people, as I see it. If Stoop Kid comes to the fighting game, he could become one of the most powerful characters by tapping into his adolescent anger and channeling his abandonment issues. Already known for being aggressive, in the context of a fighting game he could go even further and physically lash out at other characters from Hey Arnold and other Nick franchises that he perceives to have wronged him in the past. His chief attack would be launching devastating insults, and he might also hurl his favorite snack, apples, at his enemies. No one really wins in a fight against Stoop Kid, however. Because at the end of the day, the Stoop is the only family that Stoop Kid has, and that's very sad. -- Eddie Makuch, Editor
Ed | Good Burger
Good Burger's most lovable and least-useful cashier is probably not much of a fighter, I'll grant you. But what he lacks in martial skill, Ed makes up for in passion: passion for his work, passion for the shared human experience of being dudes (he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes, hey), and passion for a good burger. That passion can make Ed formidable, as his skill lies in turning his antagonists into allies. Ed brings heart to the battlefield in a way that nobody else can, and coupled with a ridiculously popular secret burger sauce recipe, he should be able to turn the tide of any fight, either by supporting teammates, distracting enemies, or simply stopping the battle for a song so that everyone realizes that we're all in this crazy world together, and he's here for you, ready to take your order. That'll be eight bucks. --Phil Hornshaw, Editor
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